In Loving Memory of Cassie.

Community Blogger Nesha Finister discusses the love and loss of a close friend and fellow single mother named Cassie. 

I grew up with Cassie’s family.  Cassie was 5’11”, evenly golden brown, eyes shined like diamonds, legs as long as the Mississippi River and her body mimicked the curves of a coke bottle.  Cassie was beautiful, athletic, and smart. Cassie was basically grown when I was a child.  She left and went on to college and then law school becoming an attorney.  Cassie married and worked as an attorney and became a mother for years before losing it all.  Cassie succumbed to the pressures of drugs and a bad relationship with her husband.  Her life spiraled out of control in a disarray of failed attempts to make her marriage work, kick the drug habit, and continue to be a mother to her daughter.

Cassie decided to pick up herself and her daughter and move back home.  She had a support system there.  She knew the environment she was raising her daughter in was toxic.  She didn’t want that for her daughter.  She no longer wanted the drugs for herself.  She wanted to be whole again.  She wanted to smile.

Continue reading “In Loving Memory of Cassie.”

Originally posted on Stacia L. Brown:
We spend it loving, spend it splaying schoolhouse Valentines into arcs on the carpet, prancing around them in circles wearing wings. We spend it grinning, giggling, pressing our foreheads to our children’s, conspiratorially. No one else knows, we whisper, how rich we really are. We spend it working, for…

POTUS and the Problem with Questioning the Manhood of Underinvolved Dads.

… We’ll work to strengthen families by removing the financial deterrents to marriage for low-income couples, and doing more to encourage fatherhood – because what makes you a man isn’t the ability to conceive a child; it’s having the courage to raise one.

Stronger families.  Stronger communities.  A stronger America.  It is this kind of prosperity – broad, shared, and built on a thriving middle class – that has always been the source of our progress at home.  It is also the foundation of our power and influence throughout the world. — President Obama, 2013 State of the Union address

The brief chastisement of absentee dads that President Obama ticked off during last night’s State of the Union address quickly became the sound byte and retweet heard ’round the country. Which is fine. Because if there are fathers who were watching who are completely uninvolved (or underinvolved) with their children — and they are absent because marriage or remaining present and engaged presented financial impediments, then they may’ve needed to hear that. I’m all for taking any parent to task who’s willfully refusing to pull his or her own weight.

I also won’t pretend that single mothers don’t appreciate statements like this; it validates the experiences of those whose partners are not invested in parenting. Perhaps it even makes them feel as though they alone aren’t being “blamed” for their single parenthood.

Continue reading “POTUS and the Problem with Questioning the Manhood of Underinvolved Dads.”